BAck to Malaysia

I have been back to Malaysia since Monday. Coming back to us is like oh no 'hot weather', 'traffic jam', 'unfriendly people' and so on. I bet we will tend to compare especially for those who had studied overseas in another country. Coming back to me its like home. I just felt that I never left for Australia in the first place. There is pro and cons everywhere we stay and complains is never ending. ITs human nature we are never happy. Negativity always creep in our minds instead of positivity.

Many times I tell myself to think positive take life as it goes and don't compare. I guess I put too much priority on studying in Australia that I pushed to study my 2nd Masters there. After studying I realised that the problem for me is not because I desperately want to stay in Australia. Malaysia is fine as well. Why I went to Australia I realised that why I wanted to go there its because I wanted my freedom, independence, exposure and experience life away from my parents. My parents can be quite controlling at time but I won't say in a strict way but I always feel caged up when I with them. Where ever I want to go I have to think of them, what they have to say and so on. Its that pressure of not doing what I want which bothers me especially at my age when I have the discretion to do things and know the consequences for myself. They just haven't let go of me.

The only way to be myself is to stay by my own in a different place. That way I can grow and learn to make better decisions for myself. It has been a while that my parents controlled me for the course I study, where I should work, choices I make and eventually the worse part is when they say 'aiyah should have let you do that'. If only they let me experience and respect my choice then that I won't face this dilemma now.

I always tell myself everything happen for a reason and that I have to be patient for God has everything planned out for me. He always have the best for me.

I guess I never prayed and hear from God before coming to Australia it was a decision I made myself to rebel and fight for 1)my desire to come Australia which my parents didn't allow me before, 2) My parents don't encourage me to change job and take up sales. A lot of people go to Australia or somewhere else to run away from their problems. Problems they see and faced in their own country. For me I guess was my parents and the feeling of being controlled at times. I guess I don't know how to solve this issue. I am still trying though.

I guess I will have to wait and see what God has planned for me. I can't do much now but leave and hand over my situation to him for he will give the best. To allow his best to lead us, don't live by our standards and limitation. Also don't let the negativity and complaining attitude enter our mind. Focus on God. No matter where we are in the World know that God is with us and that he will plan and give the best to us.

lml