some times i wonder what would have happen if......

Here i am in Australia taking up my 3rd qualification. I'm 26 and i should be focusing on my career ladder like many others via experience. I'm here stuffing myself with knowledge and theory but not much experience. I'm not too sure how it works then. But i do believe nothing is impossible. I tend to think back of the decisions i made and the choices i should have made. Now i firmly believe that i should be a doctor since i like studying so much. I would prefer medical DR more than PHD Dr though. Its more interesting. I would think life in medical school would be fun and interesting besides the stress you have to take as well.

I would have become a doctor by now. If i'm in Australia i'm a resident :). Those days were gone for me. What can i do now? CAn't possibly turn back time. My parents the driving force so called drove me away from medicine. But i can't blame them my whole life because if i really wanted it i would have fight for it. But at that time i didn't want to go againsts my parents partly. Everytime i see or know someone is a doctor i will admire them with awe and feel like my ship has just past by.

If i could turn back time beside taking medic , i will definately want to come to Australia for my studies. If again i would ignore the negativity of my mom missing me and asking me not to study in Australia i would have. Even when i took my mba and wanted to come Australia my parents are also reluctant. I don't know why but i made my stand that time. Even when i did made my stand then there were hiccups for me to come to aussie. No one from the university actually coordinated it. So i thought there's no chance.

I wonder whether i would have gotten a bf if i did take another course besides the pathetic course i took which is 90% girls. Which company will i be working? Would i be a manager already? questions like this kept coming in and out of my head. I obviously have no clue. Regret then set it because i never set my mind to what i really want and get it. I would then wish for other people's parents who want their kids to become a doctor and encourange their kids to go overseas for exposure. Sometimes i really don't understand what were they thinking.

If they don't go china i doubt i even come here! Even if i don't come here i'm not even allowed to stay in the house my own self. How can i ever be independent hence coming here is the only way.

The only think i'm thankful for throughout my life is God's presence in it. I really believe that he have made it possible for me to come here. My dad is suppose to retire but he's still needed by the company. God's grace is upon him. If only he knew. Eventhough i feel angry/frustrated when i think back of those decisions and choices i should have or could have made, i can never deny the plan God had for me from the start to the End. Probably there's a reason why i don't have any luck with medicine nor coming here earlier. Its just this period of time when i don't have the answer and reason why, i wonder and think. that makes me anxious to know sometimes.

I can't live in this world by my ownself its too complicated. It was nv meant to be easy anyways. Now i realised healthcare is complicated and really not as easy and saying you would do this and that. All we need in our lives is to stop and think what do we have to offer to this temporary place we're going to be in and keep moving forward. Looking back won't help, except to stir up memories where some are really sad to think of. All i can tell myself is no regret and look forth for the best!:)